Feeling like an idiot

I have always used this blog to vent, rant, and generally whine about everything I see wrong with everyone around me. Today, the target of my frustration is the biggest idiot I know - myself. Last night I went out with some people from work and had a few drinks. Everyone had a good time, and then it was time to go home. I didn't feel comfortable driving right away, so I sat in my truck at the restaurant for a while to let the buzz subside. Once I felt like I was OK to drive, I left and headed home.I started feeling pretty tired when I got within a couple miles of the house, and started nodding off a little. I felt like I was close enough to home that I could make it without falling asleep and having a wreck, so I kept going. That's just about the time the red and blues started flashing behind me. I paniced of course, but pulled over without looking like an idiot nonetheless. The officer told me I was swerving and then asked me how much I had had to drink. I told him that I had 3 or 4 drinks and that I had just left the Roadhouse in Killeen. He told me to get out of the vehicle and take a field sobriety test, which I did. I did OK with the exception of stumbling a little when he told me to stand on one foot for 30 seconds. He asked me to take a breathalyzer, which I did, but I didn't see the results because it was dark and he was facing away from me when the results showed on the device. I must have been over the limit because he arrested me and asked me if I could call someone to pick up my truck. I called Crystal and told her what had happened and of course she was very disappointed by the fact that I had gotten myself into this situation. So Crystal came and picked up my truck and I went to jail, where I took another breathalyzer which showed a .14 BAC. Not too bad, but enough for a DWI nonetheless. I spent the night in jail and saw the judge this morning to find out what my bail would be. The bail was $1,000.00, which according to the "regulars" in my cell, was pretty low for a DWI. I called a bail bond service and got set up to be released. Crystal came to the rescue again and picked me up at the bail service. So here I am, looking back on everything that just happened and wondering how I managed to screw my life up so bad in such a short period of time. The worst thing about it all was the look on Crystal's face when she came to pick me up; I knew immediately that she had lost all respect for me and that broke my heart completely. I can live with getting arrested, getting my driver's license suspended for 3 months, paying fines, and whatever else I may have to do, but hurting the one person in the world who has always stood by my side through all the stupid shit I have done is just way more than I can handle. I don't know how I will ever make it up to Crystal, but I'll spend the rest of my life trying. I'm sorry baber for all I've put you through. I'm sorry for being such an idiot and for dissapointing you. I hope you can forgive me someday. I love you.